In Between Black and White

Behold! After 7 months, I finally changed the blog layout. It still looks like the Minima template I used before, but I kept it's clean and readable look in the layout. The picture of the sky was edited; it's not a real gray sky. It is mostly gray, just like its creator. The whole thing took 30 minutes, since the style was patterned from PIWTHI. That's pretty much all I have to say about it.


Rushed and badly-written long post below (Our dial-up is merciless.):

But what does gray mean? And why did I choose that name when I first started here? Let's start with the typical dictionary entry in these kinds of essays.

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: gray
Pronunciation: 'grA
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English gr[AE]g; akin to Old High German grIs, grA gray
1 a : of the color gray b : tending toward gray(blue-gray eyes) c : dull in color
2 : having the hair gray : HOARY
3 : clothed in gray
4 a : lacking cheer or brightness in mood, outlook, style, or flavor; also : DISMAL, GLOOMY b (a gray day) : prosaically ordinary : DULL, UNINTERESTING
5 : having an intermediate and often vaguely defined position, condition, or character (an ethically gray area)
- gray·ly adverb
- gray·ness noun


That first part shows the meanings of "gray". But which did I have in mind when I chose my online nickname. The real answer: none. At those times, I would just type any name I could think of. If the name was taken, I would just come up with some other word I could call myself.


Now, 14 months after I came up with this random moniker I go around as, I've thought some reasons I picked this "subconsciously". It could have been a coincidence that some meanings in the dictionary matched up with my personality.

Definition 2: Yeah, my hair is a bit gray, not because of age.

Definition 4: Sort of. I used to be like that all the time when I was in elementary. Not so much nowadays, because I'm happier at school, got some counseling (and sometimes scolding) from adults, and I learned how to enjoy things more. It's still part of who I am, though it only shows when I'm really down on myself,

Definition 5: In the end, I think this meaning matches with what I am. In everyday decisions, I could easily pick one from another. But when it comes to character and identity issues, I could never be completely one side without showing it's opposite on another situation. I could never completely describe what I'm like. I can't be either white or black, but a part of each. There are times that I'm like a lighter gray in a grayscale slider, and other times having a darker gray color. Colors on this slider between #FFFFFF and #000000 (hex numbers for white and black) are all gray.

For now, I'm satisfied with this meaning of "gray" and will continue to use it as my name here. As for Perfect Imperfection, it will change faces as I find more ways I could define myself as besides between black and white.

End of rushed essay.




P.S. *****Spoiler (sort of) for Wild ARMs4*****
It's got something to do with this post. Check the English WA4 site and look at Arnaud's profile at Characters. It was never mentioned in the game, as far as I know. It surprised me, too.