Hello. Back to blogging again. I think I'm more motivated to blog more often. Not really sure how I came to that. Oh, well.
So, what am I doing while I'm typing this post? I'm downloading some software for my new (actually my aunt's) camera. I'm not quite sure which one it is. I've already got an installation disk from the broken digicam, but I can't use it because both the CD drives of the PC here and my laptop don't work.
And I'm just going on with stuff that even people at home don't have the patience to understand. Still, there are people who understand these kinds of things more than I do, so I'll stop pretending I know what I'm talking about and get on with the personal post.
Wait. Personal? Guess that's not what I wanted to post about right now. I might just get upset about something again if I start posting something emotive. Always avoiding these kinds of things. I might be generalizing, but I feel like this is what people expect from a blog of a 14 year-old high school student. There must be more to blog about rather than always something about emotions, how wrong you've been expecting too much from something and... There's a lot I'd rather not post about. I don't like being bogged down with negative feelings when I post. As if what I do offline isn't emotionally draining enough.
... Oh, no. I'm so dead for posting that.
Anyway, I was playing Guilty Ge-- enough with the geekiness that most of my audience can't relate to. I might just make a fool of myself blabbering as if I know everything about video games and digital cameras. Are those sort of things what distracts me from thinking a lot about feelings? Is it a bad thing to be preoccupied with that stuff.
PS: I'm writing posts in two blogs at this very second. The other one is in Livejournal and is private, though. Just plugging it here in case people might want to know (and add me as a friend there. I'm expecting too much, again).
PPS (How exactly do you use these things?): Something makes me feel like I'll regret posting this some time later.
Signing off.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Relief Valve... Again
Avoiding the blogging world again, eh? Not really. Went to the mall last Thursday afternoon after intramurals and getting my ATM card for clearance, and sleeping through Friday and this morning. So I really haven't been avoiding it on purpose.
Actually, I'm in a better mood to blog, now that we're "banned" from stepping into school grounds until Thursday. Now, I could do whatever nonsense I've been hoping to do until then.
Oops. Accidentally published this immediately. Let me continue.
...
Wait. What was I going to continue about?
Oh, yeah. What kind of madness am I planning to do before finishing my clearances for school? Sleep. Have my PS2 fixed and have a gaming marathon. Yay! I'll finally be able to play Atelier Iris II and Tales of Abyss which I got in the middle of the school year. Then sleep. Clean my room. Then sleep again. Water the cacti. Sleep again. Continue coding a layout for this blog. And sleep, again. Then look for things to do for the rest of the summer. Then sleep again. Basically, alternate doing things and catching up on sleep.
And what was I upset about a few weeks ago? Ah. Oh, well. Forget about that for a while.
It seems this isn't the end of the school year for me. No goodbye posts, no sentiments about the past year. I'm looking forward to Thursday, even though things aren't going to be the same as a regular school day. Leave the drama until the real end of the school year (meaning, once I get my clearances done). I've still got some work to do.
Broken beaker. Hooray.
Signing off.
Actually, I'm in a better mood to blog, now that we're "banned" from stepping into school grounds until Thursday. Now, I could do whatever nonsense I've been hoping to do until then.
Oops. Accidentally published this immediately. Let me continue.
...
Wait. What was I going to continue about?
Oh, yeah. What kind of madness am I planning to do before finishing my clearances for school? Sleep. Have my PS2 fixed and have a gaming marathon. Yay! I'll finally be able to play Atelier Iris II and Tales of Abyss which I got in the middle of the school year. Then sleep. Clean my room. Then sleep again. Water the cacti. Sleep again. Continue coding a layout for this blog. And sleep, again. Then look for things to do for the rest of the summer. Then sleep again. Basically, alternate doing things and catching up on sleep.
And what was I upset about a few weeks ago? Ah. Oh, well. Forget about that for a while.
It seems this isn't the end of the school year for me. No goodbye posts, no sentiments about the past year. I'm looking forward to Thursday, even though things aren't going to be the same as a regular school day. Leave the drama until the real end of the school year (meaning, once I get my clearances done). I've still got some work to do.
Broken beaker. Hooray.
Signing off.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
And It Goes On...
The gates of hell have reopened. Hiatus has been lifted and I'm back to blogging.
So, what have I been doing while I was avoiding this thing, and why did I stop blogging for a while, anyway? Well, requirements. And I think no one's interested in the answer for the second question.
Ah, whatever. It was another one of my mood swings, those times I get frustrated when I blog, but it lasted longer.
Why am I frustrated at it? I'm supposed to love blogging. Yeah, I do. But not when...
And then some more stuff that happened while this blog was on hiatus.
...not really in the mood for that right now. I'd really like to write, but I'm kind of exhausted from the first 2 days of clearance period. Doing almost nothing, then suddenly being required to do something is tiring.
Signing off.
So, what have I been doing while I was avoiding this thing, and why did I stop blogging for a while, anyway? Well, requirements. And I think no one's interested in the answer for the second question.
Ah, whatever. It was another one of my mood swings, those times I get frustrated when I blog, but it lasted longer.
Why am I frustrated at it? I'm supposed to love blogging. Yeah, I do. But not when...
And then some more stuff that happened while this blog was on hiatus.
- I missed this blog's 2nd birthday last February 22.
- I found out how to play around with the XML for Blogger beta. That means a new layout coming soon after months of delaying it to figure it out.
- Also...
...not really in the mood for that right now. I'd really like to write, but I'm kind of exhausted from the first 2 days of clearance period. Doing almost nothing, then suddenly being required to do something is tiring.
Signing off.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Practicing the End
This blog will be under hiatus until the 2nd weekend of March.
Still the end of all this nonsense is indefinite.
I don't want to explain anything yet.
Signing off.
Still the end of all this nonsense is indefinite.
I don't want to explain anything yet.
Signing off.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Some Things Lost
Feels like something was shattered. All of a sudden I feel lost.
Yes. You might have gotten the idea that this is going to be a personal post. I'm not usually like this and I prefer to not mind these problems too much. I need to let these things that people don't expect me to be experiencing out. Read this. I linked to it some time ago, and it actually applies to everything you see here in this blog, but since the sidebar isn't really given attention, well, just read it before you go on. And yes, I don't have any specific person in mind when I make generalities. So, read on.
Like my grades. I got a 1.446 average this quarter. It's the highest I've ever gotten this year, but when I see the progress, I think "What now?". It looks like it will go down, and I might be out of the DL, again. While I'm worrying about staying in the list, others worry about raising their 1.3-something to above 1.25, or how their average is a little lower than the last quarter. Because of that, I feel like I'm a "lower-ranking one" among the director's listers. I hate it when I feel insecure.
And another realization this weekend. I'm not only a loner, but a lonely loner. Someone who is alone against their will. I kept insisting that it was my choice, but it turns out that I'm not able to stand being alone all the time. After talking to my mom about a certain person who seems to have changed so much that I can't keep up with and eventually drifted apart from. I only noticed that I really want a steady group of friends. They're sending me to a psychologist, though I fear that they'll only tell me to adjust to what my peers are like so that I could keep close friends. I don't want to sacrifice all of my individuality just to get company, but with the structure of peer groups, I wonder if there is another way.
I've seemed to have lost the reason why I blog. Blogging has lost it's spontaneity. It's because this stuff is getting too easy to get access of, so I have to be careful about what I place here instead of posting naturally. And honestly, I feel like that it has become a way to stratify people. That's why I'm now discouraged to blog as often as I used to.
And finally, my PS2 doesn't work. DX
Agh, never mind the last thing I said. That's all.
Signing off.
Yes. You might have gotten the idea that this is going to be a personal post. I'm not usually like this and I prefer to not mind these problems too much. I need to let these things that people don't expect me to be experiencing out. Read this. I linked to it some time ago, and it actually applies to everything you see here in this blog, but since the sidebar isn't really given attention, well, just read it before you go on. And yes, I don't have any specific person in mind when I make generalities. So, read on.
Like my grades. I got a 1.446 average this quarter. It's the highest I've ever gotten this year, but when I see the progress, I think "What now?". It looks like it will go down, and I might be out of the DL, again. While I'm worrying about staying in the list, others worry about raising their 1.3-something to above 1.25, or how their average is a little lower than the last quarter. Because of that, I feel like I'm a "lower-ranking one" among the director's listers. I hate it when I feel insecure.
And another realization this weekend. I'm not only a loner, but a lonely loner. Someone who is alone against their will. I kept insisting that it was my choice, but it turns out that I'm not able to stand being alone all the time. After talking to my mom about a certain person who seems to have changed so much that I can't keep up with and eventually drifted apart from. I only noticed that I really want a steady group of friends. They're sending me to a psychologist, though I fear that they'll only tell me to adjust to what my peers are like so that I could keep close friends. I don't want to sacrifice all of my individuality just to get company, but with the structure of peer groups, I wonder if there is another way.
I've seemed to have lost the reason why I blog. Blogging has lost it's spontaneity. It's because this stuff is getting too easy to get access of, so I have to be careful about what I place here instead of posting naturally. And honestly, I feel like that it has become a way to stratify people. That's why I'm now discouraged to blog as often as I used to.
And finally, my PS2 doesn't work. DX
Agh, never mind the last thing I said. That's all.
Signing off.
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