Fill in the Blanks

Moved :D

2007-08-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

To here:

http://infinitum-zero.blogspot.com

Change your links and bookmarks :D

I've been meaning to do this for a long time. To start anew or something. Or to get away from lots of the past posts I'm to embarrassed to read.

Finally signing off.

2007-08-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

It's just like the first morning of the weekday, where you are forced to get up early for school. You curl up again, begging for five more minutes of sleep...

A lot like the hiatus of this blog.

Signing off.

Hiatus Once Again

2007-07-22T16:41:00.000+08:00

I'm going on hiatus.

It's the first time I've announced this without thinking about it too much. And I pretty sure I want to. I need to settle offline things first and motivate myself to write.

Signing off until around the 2nd week of August.

I Don't Offer to Take Other People's Trash Out

2007-07-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

Do I still look like a doormat?

Seriously, it hurts one's dignity.

Oh, well. In other news, I may not feel as busy as last week, but I should be. And I should be worrying about Math and "more important matters" right now instead of posting. I hope this doesn't call for another hiatus.

Signing off.

2007-07-08T14:48:00.000+08:00

I want my printer to work. I need it to work. It's got to be a lot easier to have your printer working than having to go to town before 8 pm to get school reports printed. You won't have to shell out 8 pesos per page. And you also get to print out any miscellaneous notes.

Life must be easier if your printer actually works and just doesn't sit on top of the desk, gathering dust and using up space.

Seems like the title input box doesn't work.

Signing off.

Ignorance does lead to mortal sin

2007-07-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

Thou shall not steal. Or in this case, thou shall not plagiarize.

Which I did, unintentionally. I forgot to put at least quotation marks on direct quotes in my STR research summaries. One reason was because I lost half of that requirement yesterday and got it back a few minutes before submission. And that I was half-asleep while doing the assignment.

I wish these kinds of details on quoting sources, and the details and deadlines of requirements, were clarified a long time ago. I wouldn't have tried to jump off the stairs after today's class if I knew.

I deserve it and all the academic mess-ups that are waiting to happen this week because I'm being myself. Yay for self-pity.

I'm still in a bad mood. What a week.

Signing off.

What have I done that made the universe conspire to make my week awful?

2007-07-03T19:42:00.000+08:00

I'm such an idiot.

I LOST MY STR LIBRARY SOURCES, AS WELL AS THE INFO I NEED TO WRITE MY HOMEWORK WORTH 10% OF MY GRADE WHICH IS DUE TOMORROW.

I'm being an idiot this week.

How bad can this get?

And there's a pretty good chance I will start getting incident reports for these losses. And that I will lose my temper. And sanity.

Signing off.

The Problematic Child Whines Once Again

2007-07-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

After cooling off for a while, the thing I was about to asphyxiate myself for seems like just another problem right now, and a sign I need to take anger and stress management seriously.

And another problem pops up. I just got reminded that the final draft for the Filipino essay is due next week. The next essay, which is a long test, will be on the same week. One more essay is due by the end of the month. And I remembered that I'm not really good at writing in Filipino. Finally, after remembering the other problems I have with academics, I now ask myself whether I'm going to survive this quarter with my sanity intact.

There's also the STR requirement for Wednesday which I'm not done with yet.

And I suspect I left my pencil case in the Bio classroom this morning. Does that earn me an IR?

What a horrible way to start the week. Two very negative posts on the same day.

You don't have to mind me, though. I'll get over it. Somehow.

...How was I going to deal with things again?

Signing off.

Dishonor and Shame?

2007-07-02T19:11:00.002+08:00

Or did my pride just get hurt?

Doesn't matter to anyone. It was a stupid, stupid mistake to commit. A very minor mistake. It's very minor so it'll really be stupid of someone to make that kind of mistake. Something no one would expect me to do. I didn't study as well as I wanted to for a test, and then flunked by 2.5 points.

Okay. If you thought that it was something else, then you're horribly mistaken. And probably dirty-minded.

I slip up once for the first time, tell people the outcome and everyone related to me wants to disown me already. I'm thought of as irresponsible and having a messed-up judgment. They lose all trust and ignore me. I'm thinking no one at home will talk to me for more than a month because of that.

I'm exaggerating, but I'm still upset.

And my hands still aren't discolored and swollen enough. It's only because it's hard to wash off blood stains.

I'm still exaggerating but still really upset.

Signing off.

2007-07-01T10:50:00.000+08:00

Our computer isn't working at home, so I'm here at a computer rental shop near the market. Pretty good equipment here, but I'm in a hurry to go home and get back to my homework and cellphone (I forgot it.) so this'll be quick.

From all these essay assignments I've done these past weeks I found out that I have a hard time concluding them. I think it even carries over to the way I blog.

So now I don't have time to finish this post. Next time.

See. I don't know how to state conclusions. Or write coherently under time pressure.

Signing off.

2007-06-29T00:21:00.000+08:00

Good morning, readers. As I'm posting this, it's already around 12:20 am and I'm still finishing my homework. I've noticed that things at school are already in full swing. Thus the irregular sleeping patterns these days.

It's thrilling, though. Now that it's the last school day of the week, I feel like I could do all of my homework the whole Thursday night, thinking that I could finally relax after classes the next day. Then I realize that there's still a lot to do for the weekend.

So I should really continue with my homework now and post tomorrow instead.

Signing off.

Numerology Results

2007-06-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

This has been going around blogs of people from school, so I took interest and tried it out. You could take the test here.

You entered: ****** **** ***** ****

There are 19 letters in your name.
Those 19 letters total to 67
There are 10 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Welsh Female Variant of Margaret - pearl - based on the abbreviation Meg.
Greek Female Pearl.

Your number is: 4

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 7

A Soul Urge number of 7 means:
With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.

You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.

The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

I find the first two numbers accurate, except that the negative traits of the Expression number haven't really surfaced. For the third one, I kind of agreed with it in my present, but I remembered that I'll be the one to experience childbirth pains when I start my own family. Well, it's too early to think about that part.

And my possible one-week hiatus caused by school will start now.

Signing off.

Food Science Student Cooks Radioactive Batch of Pancakes

2007-06-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

Did you know that pancakes could be burnt and raw at the same time? Thankfully, they weren't this time. And they tasted okay.

Also, did you know that I'm still procrastinating even if it is the dusk of Sunday?

Signing off.

You Can Learn How to Swim from Written Reports

2007-06-23T10:03:00.000+08:00

I'm back, after another week of classes, requirements, runny noses, sneezing, headaches, sore throats, drowsiness and not posting. What's new?

Instead of volunteering to direct the Ramayana production for our class, I decided to help out with the script writing. At first I wanted to become the director of the play. Then I thought I wouldn't be able to be in charge of the whole class and not rush into such big projects while I'm still doubtful of my ability to lead. But I still wanted to contribute in the way the play would be presented, therefore my current position. And this is what I'm supposed to be working on right now instead of posting here.

Also, ever since I heard about a possible one-man show for Art Club members, I've been thinking of making the required 20-25 pieces for it. I just have two things to think about. Should I try this, even though I might not find enough time to finish the pieces because of the academic work I get from school? And if I do, what kind of artwork will it be? I could do lots of kinds, but I don't really have a media I stick to all the time. I don't even have any artwork I'd like to display right now. So it's another thing I might have to think about.

I got a good grade in my Filipino diagnostic essay. Not telling in case people are out there to kill me (or my pride). It was something I wasn't expecting because I only started writing 2 days before submission and I'm not that confident with writing in Filipino. I had to write it in English first then translate it. If I seem to be okay with writing stuff, why doesn't that skill carry over to my blogging?

If I've done my research on all the recent swimming competitions and ALL the winners in ALL events, will I finally learn how to swim properly?

But there's something extremely new that you'll find out now. I've got a cold. Again. It makes me not able to breathe, not want to talk, wipe my nose periodically and sleep on my homework at night. So kids, try to avoid getting sick. It'll make life hard to cope with.

Signing off.

Reconsideration

2007-06-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I really might have been drunk (No, wait. I'm still underage.) when I thought about transferring my blog just a while ago. It’s true that I’ve been in a blogging rut lately, and haven’t been writing my posts with as much motivation as I used to. That’s why I want to start over, so that I could start with a new motivation, sort of.

But now that I think about it, I'm very attached to this blog. I hate the posts I wrote two years ago and how disorganized it has become now, but I can't seem to just leave all of these stuff I wrote.

Here comes the part I reminisce about the past. I know that you will find it very unusual that I would write something like this.

There were lots of things involved with this blog that kind of led to where I am now, and I can't just cast off. When I started this approximately 28 months ago, I thought I was the most technologically-advanced person my age at that time. While everyone at school limited themselves with Friendster and Y!M, I was figuring out how to write my posts well and customize my layout. Older people started telling me how "mature" I blogged, and I was proud of it. After a while, I found out that there were others who started before me. Then instead of aiming to be known as a prodigy at blogging, I aimed to be the best blogger I could be. There were a lot of times I was disheartened because other blogs owned by kids at high school were more popular than mine, but I kept into mind the readers and some web articles that inspired and encouraged me to keep on blogging.

End of the out-of-character portion of this post.

I can't imagine leaving all that behind. That would be like discarding memories spanning more than two years, all the inspiration I had to write posts, the feeling of accomplishment when I compose something coherent at the least, the excitement I felt whenever I find out I received a comment on an entry (popularity gained through blogging is considered only a bonus).Somehow I still want to start anew, meaning I'll have to work for my new blog to have the same stats, or even better, as the first one.

I could probably leave this one open and open another one here. I actually considered Wordpress because of the environment there, except I have to pay something so that I could make a custom layout and use it there. I might just have to get used to the intimidating XML here.

I don't know when these new changes will take place. I'm just certain that the definitely will sometime.

Signing off.

Tentative Announcement of Transfer

2007-06-16T19:40:00.000+08:00

I don't know whether I was drowsy or drunk when I thought about this, but I've decided to start a new blog. I felt that I had to start fresh again. Also, this blog has too many posts I don't even want to look at anymore like the ones I posted before high school. And the layout is out of hand already (or I'm really phobic of editing an XML template unlike the pure CSS templates in the old version of Blogger).

I hope I start it right when I transfer. And that everyone who reads this will continue reading the next one.

Hmmm... I forgot to post about this week. I'm not really in the mood right now to type about things like that. After dinner, or some other time.

Signing off.

2007-06-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

Well, well. Look whose decided to post something that was expected a few days ago when people were crazy about the start of classes, but was either too busy or lazy to type something within the week.

School has started. Well, yeah.

...

Ack. Usually I have lots to talk about the first week. This year I don't, oddly. Probably because it's almost the same way the last school year started. Getting lost in the lobby on the first flag ceremony, getting schedules and venues mixed up, get a little depressed about something, introduce yourself to the class, make a fool of yourself in front of the class and get relieved by the first weekend of the school year. That's almost always the way school starts, so there really isn't anything special I want to blog about it.

Or I might have just forgotten about school a little because of the weekend.

Oh, wait. I remember something interesting about last week. It was one of the riskiest things I've done in a while. I only signed up for one elective. By Thursday, I was already worried about not qualifying for it and having a very hard time looking for an elective I could live with that isn't full yet. Or worse, not get an elective at all. Well, that afternoon, I found out I was part of the top 20 who got into Food Science after taking the elimination test. What a relief.

And guess what? We have homework! Better get started before getting distracted by something like typing a post.

Signing off.

2007-05-29T16:57:00.000+08:00

Intriguing. After being slightly insomniac the night before, waking up at around 4:30, lining up in a lot of insanely long queues in a sauna-like corridor and finding out my section (Potassium, which I have to get used to hearing and saying), I've finally accepted the reality that I'll be starting going to school next Monday.

And how am I going to conclude this?

I have no idea.

Signing off.

2007-05-23T09:36:00.001+08:00

I still can't believe I'm an incoming third year student already. I feel old thinking of that. And that I'm still too childish to be only 2 years from finishing high school. More so in the case of my chronological age. I just remembered that I'll be turning 15 on September. And fifteen sounds old to me already. Ah, the youth that slips past me, I wish I took more time to enjoy it.

Sure people tell me I act mature, but I think I still act like a ten year-old playing her own games and fooling around with everything I see. If adolescence is defined as being more conscious about peers and popularity, going out more with friends and, well you know the rest, I seem centuries away from that.

More on that next time, if I'm able to catch up on some sleep. Jigoku Shoujo 2 marathons at night are inadvisable for your health.

Signing off.

2007-05-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

I made a fatal mistake when I got home from the mall today. I left my iPod on the shelf in the living room, thinking that our beloved housemates, our uncle and his wife (we don't even call her our aunt) and that brat of a cousin, would be lazing around at her house for the night. While taking a shower, they arrived. When I was done, I came out to see that the slobs were feasting over the iPod, bashing the "useless" VGM, J-pop, J-rock, Eraserheads, Panic at the Disco, etc. songs I rated 3 stars up, and repeating the only Sitti song in there. WITHOUT *beep* PERMISSION.

In reaction to that violation, I slammed the door of my room and started kicking it, frustrated that I made such a stupid mistake like that. Our uncle's wife opened the door to my room WITHOUT *beep* KNOCKING and tried to piss me off a lot more by asking whether I wanted to hang my sister. Then she told me about our uncle borrowing the iPod and the value of sharing and anger management.

Just who the heck do they think they are? People who could use whatever they lay their eyes on and act all high and mighty lecturing anyone they please as if they're always right?

"We should get it back by around 12 o' clock" said the sister I allegedly tried to kill.

So, who am I going to murder now?

No, I'm not seriously going to kill them. I just feel too angry with them. I don't even want to go downstairs anymore. And I'm sanitizing the MP3 player when I get it back. IF I get it back.

Signing off.

Elections and other things killed my idealism.

2007-05-14T15:47:00.001+08:00

How tragic. Boo-hoo.

Advice to self: Actually, no one is reading this.

Sarcastically signing off.

The Irony of Commuting

2007-05-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

It always seems that the more you need an FX going to Parang, the fewer there are at the waiting shed in that instance. When you wait for a ride to somewhere else, there are way too many going to Parang and almost none going anywhere else.

The levels of carbon monoxide accumulated in my brain are going up again. Lately, I've been ~~risking becoming roadkill~~ commuting to the math tutorial place. I'll be back when I've got something more worthwhile to post about. Or maybe not all that worthwhile but will still be posted anyway.

Signing off.

2007-05-07T15:44:00.000+08:00

Back from the inactivity again to bring you breaking news of what I've been doing for the past 6 days. The useless stuff not worth your time but still drawn to check out.

Belated happy Cinco de Mayo. Here's a corny non-related wallpaper I made for the beloved blog readers. Texture from Aethereality. Hint: look at RoboKy's hand. It was supposed to be a school joke, actually, where we use the 1.0 - 5.0 grading system.

I was finally able to watch something at the cinema after around 14 months. We got to watch Spiderman 3 this Saturday, despite the movie houses being full. And the ticket was kind of expensive. I did enjoy watching, though, except for the ending that left all of us thinking "What the heck?".

We're on an American Idol craze here at home, having bets on who would be eliminated on that week and speculating who would be on the top 3.

My cactus is growing taller. Want a picture? Nah, blog readers are only looking for proof that this summer is boring without school, not news about the houseplants here. Sorry, you won't be able to find that here :D

And finally, I have successfully cleaned my room :o

I only noticed now that there are only a few more weeks until I go back to school. It's fine with me, except that I won't have much time to do things I want to do anymore. Like playing around with Photoshop the whole day, taking a nap for 5 hours everyday, reading comics, drawing, planning stuff like websites, layouts (which I still can't figure out yet), a video game I'd like to make when I grow up and things like that. Seemingly, unlike most people, I really have things to look forward to when there isn't anything related to school. I really can't figure out why.

Oh, well.

Signing off.
Signing off.

Not your typical mother-daughter bonding

2007-05-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

One day, my mom was watching Medium on Crime Suspense. I was downstairs getting something to eat. While watching, she said, “Anak, I don’t want you to not make friends.”

“Why, Mom? Am I still as antisocial as before?”

“You might start seeing ghosts if you don’t have any.”

Whoa.

Four hours of Math + the heat outside while commuting = dizziness. I'll get to posting regularly some other time.

Signing off.

2007-05-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

While trying to recall what I was supposed to post this morning, beat blogger's block, practice typing and boost my post count, I'm trying to type spontaneously.

How is it that some people can post long and well-thought of posts almost everyday? As someone who takes a long time to plan a long post and doesn't update often, I really want to know how to do that. It probably comes with lots of practice, which I don't do, regrettably. D:

...

Oh, no. Because of lacking something to post about and not being able to recall my topic this morning, I resort to something that infamously lengthens a post but lacks worthwhile content: a survey. I feel like this is from Myspace because of the mechanics, some of the questions and that it expects titles that sound like Fallout Boy songs. Hold me, I'm scared. o_O

(I'll be using my cousin's MP3 player.)

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to
the question even if they don’t make
sense.

Questions:

How are you today?
Tagumpay

What about yesterday?
Push

How was that?
Break Me

What does the number one person on
your featured friends feel about you? (definitely Myspace)
She's So High Above

How is highschool so far?
Mr. DJ

If you had one piece of advice to
people what would it be?
Girl in the Life Magazine

How is your life going so far?
Dito sa Puso Ko

How are you going to die?
Set You Free

You’re trying to work out and what
song comes on?
The Real Slim Shady

Whats your birthday wish?
Barely Breathing

You tell your best friend that you are
in love with them, they respond:
Crazy

Your war yell is:
Uninvited

What song will be played at your
funeral?
Show Stopper

Your last words are:
Collide

What do your friends really think about you?
Show me Heaven

What is your current theme song?
I Will Follow You Into the Dark

What do your friends think your theme
song should be?
Can't Take My Eyes Off You

All of the answers sound bizarre.

I succumb to blogger's block until next time.

Signing off.

My Head is Throbbing.

2007-05-01T10:21:00.000+08:00

I feel sort of sick. I'm sure it's not a fever or anything. It's probably because I stayed up too late last night and hardly got enough sleep. I'm busy cramming enjoying my vacation, or something like that. Yes, I could catch up with my sleep in the morning, if only the people who squat in our house (moochers... er, relatives) wouldn't play their music so loud. It would be a lot better if they didn't sing, either. From here upstairs, I hear the floor shaking from their dancing.

I really was supposed to post about how much I dislike insensitivity, but my train of thoughts were interrupted when I was called downstairs for some ice cream. Mmm... mango.

Signing off.

2007-04-28T09:58:00.000+08:00

It took me a long time to reinstall the modem to our computer. It took a lot longer just figuring out why the computer doesn’t connect to the internet. Doesn’t matter now. I’m here, after a very long time. Oh, no.

Why did I have to reinstall that, anyway? We were having lots of problems with spyware, viruses and freezing, so we had everything reformatted. All the files in the computer before were erased. I’m relieved that it was cleared, except there were photos, school notes, artwork and lots of important stuff I wanted to save copies of first. Oh, well. I’ve got a fresh start on customizing it, though. And relearning how to. Then start organizing all my files this time.

So what happened between the last time I posted and now, which is almost a week from last time? A lot. I sleep off almost the whole morning, read or use the computer in the afternoon, then draw or watch TV at the nighttime. How fun. No, seriously. I’m not bored this summer.

My room got messy again. ~~Intruders~~ ~~Slobs~~ My sisters did it. The idiot box is on all day, the semi-organized stack of boxes and books under my desk toppled. I can’t find lots of my drawings anymore. All my pencils and pens disappeared. Horrible events, indeed.

Started going to math summer classes last Tuesday. Even though it’s a review of what we learned last year, it’s still tough. There were lots of topics we didn’t study in-depth in school and had to learn. That’s four hours of brain torture every T-Th, but it might save my grades from sliding below 2.5 (it almost did last quarter).

And it rained yesterday. It’s amazing. The rainy season will come in about a month. But it’s still hot.

The new layout: Darn it. This is too hard to figure out. It’ll probably take me hours to figure out how to fit a header image properly. Make that days, because I’m a big procrastinating slob. Or I might switch back to from XML to the original coding style. Or start a new layout from scratch. When I started editing the code, it looked terrible.

And that would be all for now.

Signing off.

2007-04-22T18:47:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I posted. Or has it? It's been the first summer for a while I had lots to do, lots of places to go to, things to see... What? I probably should get on with the post.

Oh, yeah. Happy Earth Day!

Global warming should be put to a stop. While other countries still don't feel effects, we here in the tropics suffer from 36 degrees Celsius temperatures at daytime. Have mercy on the atmosphere, please.

We went out to Starbucks last Friday. It was crowded inside, as usual, and lots of our cousins came so we stayed outside. I don't really like sitting under those umbrellas because of cigarette smoke, the cars outside, the smoke from the cars outside and being bothered by people selling stuff outside. There was a kid who approached us and asked to buy rugs. I was tempted to tell him, "Why don't you ask your favorite politician for help?". The only thing I'm more bothered by than them was the campaign period. I thought again, though. It's also the some of the politicians' faults that they're outside like this at night instead of under a roof studying for school tomorrow (school is a pain sometimes, but it's still a necessity ^^;). We ended up buying the the rugs and giving him our takeout.

For the first time, I've gone shopping for clothes. Oh, great. Why is this such a big deal? I've always been bought clothes by either my mom or relatives from the States. Most of them don't fit well and don't fit my taste. Souveneir shirts, mailman shirts, stuff with medicine names on them... uh, those things. Now, after fourteen years, I've got some control on the way I dress. That's why it's such a big deal.

My brother is a control freak right now, making me download Thomas and Friends videos from YouTube. I can't really finish posting right now. I'll come back soon. Very soon, I wish.

Signing off.

2007-04-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

Tricycle. Jeepney. Walk. Jeepney. Jeepney. Walk. Taxi. Walk. Taxi. Walk. Jeepney. Tricycle.

What a long day. We went out for my sister's enrollment for her first year, then paid for my math classes next week, go to the city hall, then back to my sister's school, then to the market, then to the lousy Chowking branch in town for some lousy halo-halo.

I feel too tired to post something today and was planning to blog tomorrow. Must start working on stuff to post besides what I've been doing offline.

This blog shouldn't even be neglected while I'm on vacation, but it looks like I don't post as often as expected. For the first time in a while, I'm occupied with things not related to computers.

Oh, wow. I just realized that I actually have a life D:

It says that my internet connection right now is 53.2 kbps. I get the feeling that the decimal point was supposed to be moved at least 2 places to the left.

Signing off.

What?

2007-04-07T16:57:00.000+08:00

It's almost automatic. Once you log into the internet, you open your favorite browser and enter your blogging site. You enter your senseless username, your more senseless password. Then press the odd L-shaped Enter key. Then a series of colorful and dizzying menus, which make your supposedly "user-friendly" blogging site more of a burden in life, appear in your screen. Like a reflex, you click on "Post" or something like that. Now you are faced with textboxes, with fields like title, tag; lots of buttons on your wysiwyg editor. And you finally look into that big empty textbox.

Quick! What do you do?

What are you supposed to do now?

You still stare at the monitor a little longer, with your hands on the keyboard, as if waiting for words to appear.

Agggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Blogger's block. Oh, no.

Signing off.

2007-04-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

Back. And not ready to post. I don't have any idea on how I'll organize this. Well, I almost always don't whenever I post.

First, about what I've been doing at home. Nothing.

Then, about what people at school talk most often about after Clearance Week: report cards. I won't be posting all of my grades here, so I'll just talk about the best and the worst things that happened to them. The good thing is that my GWA went higher and I was able to prove to myself that I could get a 1.3 something average. Bad thing is that a subject went down by 3 steps. And that's all I'll say.

Yesterday, we all went to Nasugbu, Batangas to visit relatives. It was a chance to see a new background, take pictures, eat empanada, eat some more at Kainan sa Dalampasigan, have abraisions on you knees, go to the recently built church-there, see the beach, not get to ride a boat, get out of the house, escape the heat in the house, get away from all the boredom of staying in the house the whole day and avoid being a couch potato. Whew.

And then I run out of things to blog about.

The new layout is coming soon. Very soon...

Signing off.

2007-03-27T14:40:00.000+08:00

Hello. Back to posting again. I've been pressured to post right now to keep my blog active, but I don't have much to post about.

First, I plug. Yay. I felt like finally making one while I have time to submit things. All I need is motivation to make submissions.

Then this is the part where I talk about what I've been doing in between the last time I posted and now. Well, almost nothing eventful. Except that I'm close to dehydration. It's too hot. So, there.

No, wait. I've been fooling around with Photoshop lately. Found some homework, projects, photos, sprites while cleaning out my computer and fooled around with them. Here's one:

Chem portfolio guidelines scan -edited-

Though I didn't really have anything against this project, any soft copy of an assignment is always prone to some mockery we students come up with. Do you art students remember Ida?

Until next time.

Signing off.

What Happens When You Neglect Your Cellphone for at Least Ten Hours

2007-03-21T08:04:00.000+08:00

From 10 am to 8 pm,

You see at least 3 or 5 or 10 or an infinite number of messages from your mom at work or whoever isn't at home. They end up scolding you (or maybe not) when they get home.
You miss out on something quite important that's related to school. Nothing depending on your life. Or maybe it would when you come back to school or work (Forgive me, Champaca, for I have sinned. I missed the online confession yesterday.)
Very annoying messages regarding free ringtone, ringback, wallpaper downloads from your SIM provider pile up. You missed opportunities to erase them as they come, so now they're blocking even the sunlight from your inbox because there's so many of them.

And how to avoid this, follow this fairly easy procedure:

Hold your cellphone in your hand.
Open your pocket.
Place your hand holding your cellphone in that open pocket.
Let go of the cellphone once it's in the pocket.
Remove your now empty hand from the pocket.

Or I might just be overreacting because of that. I was supposed to post this once I was shocked about this. Alas, I wasn't able to connect to the internet.

...Will probably come back when I cool down.

***Edit: Corrected the title. Wah, I'm not a gangster.

Signing off.

2007-03-20T18:23:00.000+08:00

Hello. Back to blogging again. I think I'm more motivated to blog more often. Not really sure how I came to that. Oh, well.

So, what am I doing while I'm typing this post? I'm downloading some software for my new (actually my aunt's) camera. I'm not quite sure which one it is. I've already got an installation disk from the broken digicam, but I can't use it because both the CD drives of the PC here and my laptop don't work.

And I'm just going on with stuff that even people at home don't have the patience to understand. Still, there are people who understand these kinds of things more than I do, so I'll stop pretending I know what I'm talking about and get on with the personal post.

Wait. Personal? Guess that's not what I wanted to post about right now. I might just get upset about something again if I start posting something emotive. Always avoiding these kinds of things. I might be generalizing, but I feel like this is what people expect from a blog of a 14 year-old high school student. There must be more to blog about rather than always something about emotions, how wrong you've been expecting too much from something and... There's a lot I'd rather not post about. I don't like being bogged down with negative feelings when I post. As if what I do offline isn't emotionally draining enough.

... Oh, no. I'm so dead for posting that.

Anyway, I was playing Guilty Ge-- enough with the geekiness that most of my audience can't relate to. I might just make a fool of myself blabbering as if I know everything about video games and digital cameras. Are those sort of things what distracts me from thinking a lot about feelings? Is it a bad thing to be preoccupied with that stuff.

PS: I'm writing posts in two blogs at this very second. The other one is in Livejournal and is private, though. Just plugging it here in case people might want to know (and add me as a friend there. I'm expecting too much, again).

PPS (How exactly do you use these things?): Something makes me feel like I'll regret posting this some time later.

Signing off.

Relief Valve... Again

2007-03-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

Avoiding the blogging world again, eh? Not really. Went to the mall last Thursday afternoon after intramurals and getting my ATM card for clearance, and sleeping through Friday and this morning. So I really haven't been avoiding it on purpose.

Actually, I'm in a better mood to blog, now that we're "banned" from stepping into school grounds until Thursday. Now, I could do whatever nonsense I've been hoping to do until then.

Oops. Accidentally published this immediately. Let me continue.

...

Wait. What was I going to continue about?

Oh, yeah. What kind of madness am I planning to do before finishing my clearances for school? Sleep. Have my PS2 fixed and have a gaming marathon. Yay! I'll finally be able to play Atelier Iris II and Tales of Abyss which I got in the middle of the school year. Then sleep. Clean my room. Then sleep again. Water the cacti. Sleep again. Continue coding a layout for this blog. And sleep, again. Then look for things to do for the rest of the summer. Then sleep again. Basically, alternate doing things and catching up on sleep.

And what was I upset about a few weeks ago? Ah. Oh, well. Forget about that for a while.

It seems this isn't the end of the school year for me. No goodbye posts, no sentiments about the past year. I'm looking forward to Thursday, even though things aren't going to be the same as a regular school day. Leave the drama until the real end of the school year (meaning, once I get my clearances done). I've still got some work to do.

Broken beaker. Hooray.

Signing off.

And It Goes On...

2007-03-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

The gates of hell have reopened. Hiatus has been lifted and I'm back to blogging.

So, what have I been doing while I was avoiding this thing, and why did I stop blogging for a while, anyway? Well, requirements. And I think no one's interested in the answer for the second question.

Ah, whatever. It was another one of my mood swings, those times I get frustrated when I blog, but it lasted longer.

Why am I frustrated at it? I'm supposed to love blogging. Yeah, I do. But not when...

And then some more stuff that happened while this blog was on hiatus.

I missed this blog's 2nd birthday last February 22.
I found out how to play around with the XML for Blogger beta. That means a new layout coming soon after months of delaying it to figure it out.
Also...

...not really in the mood for that right now. I'd really like to write, but I'm kind of exhausted from the first 2 days of clearance period. Doing almost nothing, then suddenly being required to do something is tiring.

Signing off.

Practicing the End

2007-02-10T12:10:00.000+08:00

This blog will be under hiatus until the 2nd weekend of March.

Still the end of all this nonsense is indefinite.

I don't want to explain anything yet.

Signing off.

Some Things Lost

2007-02-04T14:35:00.000+08:00

Feels like something was shattered. All of a sudden I feel lost.

Yes. You might have gotten the idea that this is going to be a personal post. I'm not usually like this and I prefer to not mind these problems too much. I need to let these things that people don't expect me to be experiencing out. Read this. I linked to it some time ago, and it actually applies to everything you see here in this blog, but since the sidebar isn't really given attention, well, just read it before you go on. And yes, I don't have any specific person in mind when I make generalities. So, read on.

Like my grades. I got a 1.446 average this quarter. It's the highest I've ever gotten this year, but when I see the progress, I think "What now?". It looks like it will go down, and I might be out of the DL, again. While I'm worrying about staying in the list, others worry about raising their 1.3-something to above 1.25, or how their average is a little lower than the last quarter. Because of that, I feel like I'm a "lower-ranking one" among the director's listers. I hate it when I feel insecure.

And another realization this weekend. I'm not only a loner, but a lonely loner. Someone who is alone against their will. I kept insisting that it was my choice, but it turns out that I'm not able to stand being alone all the time. After talking to my mom about a certain person who seems to have changed so much that I can't keep up with and eventually drifted apart from. I only noticed that I really want a steady group of friends. They're sending me to a psychologist, though I fear that they'll only tell me to adjust to what my peers are like so that I could keep close friends. I don't want to sacrifice all of my individuality just to get company, but with the structure of peer groups, I wonder if there is another way.

I've seemed to have lost the reason why I blog. Blogging has lost it's spontaneity. It's because this stuff is getting too easy to get access of, so I have to be careful about what I place here instead of posting naturally. And honestly, I feel like that it has become a way to stratify people. That's why I'm now discouraged to blog as often as I used to.

And finally, my PS2 doesn't work. DX

Agh, never mind the last thing I said. That's all.

Signing off.

2007-01-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

Before I start avoiding this thing again, I'll take the chance to update.

Okay. So, why haven't I been posting very often? School and requirements. Besides that Moodiness. I dunno. Sometimes, I don't feel like blogging because I think I going to make a post that sounds foolish, sentimental, something that I wouldn't want to look back at. I think I'm starting to avoid blogging where people know me and my reputation in fear that it will change what I am thought of. Is it a bad thing?

Will that count as anything?

Vague...

Right now, I'm thinking of what I'll do with this. Something I've been working on for almost 2 years and afraid of changing.

Signing off.

2007-01-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

This thing finally loaded. Yay. Something might be going on with the internet connection, and I don't like it.

YMSAT is over. Mine was cut short because I got sick on the first two days for... something I'm not able to explain well.

So I think I wasn't able to get much from it. Except stress. And a broken pride. I thought we could win the Bio Quiz, but, I admit that there were groups that were better than ours at that time. I got disappointed because I thought of the contest as some way of getting "discovered", a way to find potential students to send off to interschool contests and things, and I lost the opportunity to show off. That's why I've been a bit of a sore loser during the awarding ceremony. Now, I think that it was alright. Everyone did great and I had fun joining it. I guess it's all good now (?).

No, wait. I did get a lot from it. A lot of things that I don't feel like getting sentimental about right now. But it was a fun three-day school week.

It's back to regular classes on Monday. Crisis mode.

Not really.

Signing off.

2007-01-13T17:46:00.000+08:00

I'm back.

Not to put this blog on hiatus. I'm here to continue blogging, though I couldn't really think of something to blog about.

I didn't go to the recollection at school today. Instead, I finally had my sprain checked after the last time I did sometime on December. I actually had it checked, unlike the last time when all I got was an x-ray. For the first time in a few weeks, it's starting to hurt again. It's probably from when the doctor was stretching it in all directions to find out what kind of therapy it needs. Now it makes a cracking sound again.

Requirements are back. The YMSAT integrated project is already due on January 19. The deadline seems too soon, considering that the project was only assigned on the 3rd and it's a major requirement for 7 subjects. Hopefully we could finish 60% of the project tomorrow. Get ready.

I've been feeling very moody lately. It's still not clear to me why. I just know that it made me avoid blogging for a while.

Signing off.

2007-01-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

All the trumpets and fireworks that go "boom tarat-tarat" last night, the fruits and cakes still on the table, firecracker debris, fires, resolutions(?) and all the text messages I've received today nag me to say...

Happy New Year!

~~And also, happy fourth quarter! :D~~ Aye.

Now you get a chance (or are expected to, in some cases) to sort of "start over" and get back at your rotten luck last year. I hope I get to do it properly this time.

Resolutions: Still coming soon.

Oh, there's a resolution right there. :\

Signing off.

2006-12-31T14:22:00.000+08:00

Back again to post. No, this isn't dead yet. Now, at the end of 2006, I look back at all the crazy things that happened this year and post drabble about it. Prepare for a deep sounding post, abstract and unspecific ideas that I don't explain, and a lot of scrolling.

For the first time, I felt hopeless about things.

I'm now dead serious about school. Yes, more than before.

I experienced being a leader a few times. I'm still not sure if being one all the time is a good thing.

I realized that you really need to see things in different perspectives to understand different situations (although being able to do it is a challenge).

I now angst and get mood swings. Oh, no.

I learned how to miss things. (Freedom from schoolwork.)

I guess I enjoy school now.

I also started to enjoy listening to music.

I now know how to swim! Or at least survive in the water.

I got ran over by a reindeer. Ah, nope.

I haven't been as hesistant to spend money on snacks and things not related to school (video games, stuff to read).

I finally thought of a possible career to take when I grow up. I still haven't figured out what course I need to take to get that kind of job.

I learned that cramming IS unavoidable.

I underestimated myself a lot of times.

I overestimated myself at a lot more times than I underestimated myself.

I figured out for myself that expecting so much isn't healthy o_O

I fainted for the first time this year.

I now know that afternoon snacks can be considered vital meals during school days.

I now like staying at school after sunset.

I now like staying at home during weekends more.

For the first time in high school, I found Algebra okay. Geometry was fun in the 1st and 2nd quarter, until we started on similarities :P

I've lost my sentimentality.

I unconsciously(?) rely on "time management". Haha.

I got to talk to people from my past school this year. Wasn't able to in my first year out of there.

I now want the power to turn back time.

I thought I would never get over this year. Now I think I wouldn't on 2007.

After this I realize that there are so many important things that happened this year that I have a hard time listing them down. Also, there are events that I might have overlooked that are actually significant.

The introspective mood is fading. Now I want to go back to the present.

New year's resolutions: soon.

Signing off.

Christmas Eve Post

2006-12-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

I never thought I would be able to log in before Christmas.

Here you go, guys.

And that image was, as usual, lovingly(?) crammed. Yay.

Have a great Christmas tomorrow!

Signing off.

2006-12-19T10:37:00.000+08:00

Has been a while since I've updated. I've been doing more this week than the last one. Let's see.

Simbang Gabi- So far I've gone to the 4 masses. It's still hard to wake up early. Reminds me of school. The church is pretty near our house so we walk. Not much of a problem. The problem is when we stand during mass when the pews are full because the neighbors we go with take too long to prepare. Yeah, I go with my helpers and neighbors; everyone else at home is too sleepy and can't bring me to mass.
Gifts- I'm wrapping gifts this time. Everyone else is too busy, and I'm usually bored. Now I know what I'm getting, also because I bought some of my gifts myself.
Homework- *evil glare*
Siblings- Brat. Box Monster. Play all afternoon. Wow.

That doesn't sound like I'm doing much. I have to get some things done, though, before school starts.

Not the S-word again. My eaaars.

I really think I won't be updating this thing until Christmas. Not too much to blog about. Be warned.

Signing off.

2006-12-14T10:13:00.000+08:00

Hi. Still thinking of what to do this vacation. I've only been figuring out the XML, playing Magna Carta (I'm still not done yet), wasting time in the internet and sleeping most of the time. I'm not studying. Bwahahaha.

And I thought I would be updating this thing a lot more because of the free time. The opposite's happening because there's not much to blog about. Maybe because I don't go to school, or get to talk to people a lot during vacations. And I currently irritated by something to think straight. Might blog about that thing soon.

Maybe I should consider studying to pass the time :P.

Still bored. Signing off.

2006-12-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

Three days into the Christmas vacation, and I'm still tired. I've run out of things to post about.

Not really. I guess the reason I don't have anything to post about in this blog is that I avoid getting too personal in my posts. I always talk about schoolwork and anything that I'm preoccupied with that I don't really talk about how I feel, unless I'm really upset. I don't even sound like I'm upset when I am.

Ah, well. Just a thought. I still have to think if I really will post stuff like that here.

Back to other preoccupations.

Blog Layout- The XML coding for the page looks hard and intimidating to mess around with, unlike plain HTML/CSS. It seems like a combination of those two formatting "languages" and a programming language (like C++ XD). I might just be lazy to study it. Will plan something for it. I won't switch back to the old template coding scheme until I've tried out the XML.
Adobe Illustrator- Does anyone have any idea on what I could use this for? I know that you could make vectored images using this, which could be used for web graphics, wallpapers and stuff like that. I just can't figure out how to use it, I guess.
Video Games- Now is the time to catch up on this past obsession. I've missed lots of games this year because of school. Now I'm not really updated about the newest RPGs that are out, or at least about what's interesting to play. Someone help me with this. Either that or give me money to buy some games. (Whatever you do, don't mention anything about Final Fantasy XII.)
Sprain- It's getting better. I could walk better now, except when going down stairs. Problem is, when I get up or move my leg, my ankle always hits something and....
Posting- With all the time I have to use the computer and a new dial-up internet card (Don't laugh.) loaded, I look forward to posting almost everyday.
Character Designs- They've been on hold since classes started this June. Now, if only I could find my pencil.
Sleep- Yay!

What's a good way to conclude this post? Dunno.

Signing off.

Changed layouts, again?

2006-12-09T14:08:00.000+08:00

As you can see, I've switched to Blogger beta already. I tried the new layout options and then... this happened. The pretty layout that was here before is gone. I'll try to figure out the new scheme for coding and fix a customized layout again. Either that or I'll switch back to the old template-editing style.

Signing off.

2006-12-09T12:39:00.000+08:00

It's vacation time already. We're supposed to be relaxing because all our projects are done, the tests are over and we don't have to wake up at 4 something and sleep at 2 something every ~~miserable~~ day.

So why am I still stressed out?

First, my brother kicked my right foot a while ago. That's where my sprain is. It still hurts.

Second, I'm still finishing the first draft for English. Why? Let's not talk about that.

Third, I'm still tired from the whole year of ~~hard labor~~ studying. I had a pain in the neck last night that seemed like when you get high blood pressure. I'm scared.

Maybe I've lost all my optimism (whatever was left of it) during the past 7 months. *head meets keyboard in accelerated downward movement of the former* Whatever.

Signing off.

Blog Name Change?

2006-12-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This post isn't meant to offend anyone else whose blog/site is titled Perfect Imperfection or any other site title in this post.

I've been thinking about changing the name of this blog for a while. Perfect Imperfection doesn't really suit my outlook in life anymore. I think I wasn't thinking right when I created this blog.

Though I still think philosophically, I'm not too vocal about my deeper thoughts. I'm still introverted like before, but I've become more spontaneous. I may not be the one who admires all the beauty in the world, but I don't abhor anything. Perfect Imperfection sounds like a title of a poet's blog and I'm no poet at all.

What does it leave me with?

Gray's Place in the Internet- Can you get more unoriginal?
Gray's Blog- I swear I'll kill...
The Life and Times of a Person Called Gray - Get me my great-great-great-grandfather's bolo.

I want something clever, never thought of before and not currently being used as a blog title. Nothing that sounds so much like a fan shrine title, either. Suppose I combine words that I like.

Turbulent Majesty- Fan shrine. End of story.
Enigma- Fan shrine, band name, overused blog title
Wild Tempest- I googled it up and found someone using this as a username. Oh, well.

I know. I'll name it after a song that I like. *looks at playlist*

Fate Breaker (Wild Arms 3 dungeon theme)- The song sounds idealistic and searching, I like it. But the title is a little poetic.
Sheep will Sleep (Guilty Gear Isuka, Sol/Ky/I-no theme)- Makes the blog sound sleepy...
Psycho Killer (Talking Heads)- Run, run, run, run, run from the psycho killer's blog.
Waltz (Honey and Clover)- Romantic-sounding title
100% Pure (Tantei Gakuen Q)- Sounds like a personal title, but I suspect someone uses this as a title. And my character isn't pure -_-.

While looking through the playlist I ran into a track called "Drunkard Makes Wise Remarks" from GG Isuka. It is a potential name for a "wise guy's" blog. Just remove the "drunkard" part because it doesn't apply.

Calesa Hijacker Makes Wise Remarks- "Calesa Hijacker" is a random title I gave myself. There's a story behind it.
Wise Guy Makes Wise Remarks- Sounds funny and redundant

Here I end listing down blog titles I've thought of. I might go with the "Makes Wise Remarks" thing. Either that or I'll think of another possible blog title.

I will change my blog title. The title "Perfect Imperfection" drives me mad.

Signing off.

Demand List

2006-12-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

Here is an example of an arrangement of items that you remember to write during the Yuletide season (if you actually notice it) but because of it being posted on such short notice, money shortages, the impracticability or just the downright impossibility of the items recorded, all the items don't usually get checked off. For short, this is my Christmas wishlist.

scanner (For drawing that I might want to CG; kind of impractical since I could use the digicam instead.)
for my camera to be fixed
no homework and projects for the rest of the school year (What? It's a wishlist XD)
sanity (which was taken away by school)
sleep (which was also taken away by school)
some role playing video games that I missed to get after their release dates because of school and I want to play (or time to finish the games I already have)
maintain good academic status and probably become a DL again (I'm scared...)
a better organization system for my things (someone help me with this.)
web hosting for a personal site/blog
to feel better about things

I just posted this for fun, actually. I don't expect all the items to be checked but it would be nice if some were granted (especially the 3rd one :P). The list might be revised.

Twisted Fate

2006-11-30T14:03:00.000+08:00

Hiatus is finally lifted.

Happy Bonifacio Day. Alas, we have this holiday off. Now, we await the storm.

I'm not supposed to be at the computer right now. My parents ~~threatened~~ commanded me to rest my sprained ankle, but I still have lots to do for school.

Wait, what sprained ankle? I'll talk about that, then.

This is the second time I sprained an ankle. It was during a basketball game in PE. The other team was trying to shoot the ball. I don't remember how it really happened, but I recall being pushed and my right leg bending sideways. Everyone was running to the other basket when I stood up and realized I twisted my ankle. I guess no one else besides the teacher and his next class noticed I had a sprain. Some of them even helped me down the stairs of the gym. But the clinic was across the oval, being frustratingly far for someone who has a hard time walking. After limping through the field and 15 minutes of cold compress at the clinic, I remembered that I had to go to the 4th floor of the building for a long test. Then I limped again downstairs to the ground floor, to the cafeteria for a while, then to the service bus which was across the oval. It was nightmarish.

My folks at home got surprised about my ankle. For the first time in a while, I had the right to treat my younger siblings as slaves >:D (They were willing to...). It was just hard to get around the house to study for the next day, finish our report, to eat at the table and to go to the bathroom. My ankle swelled up a lot that night.

The next day, I planned to go to school using the service bus >_<, attend the first two subjects where in the second one we had a long test (I didn't want to take a post quarter test this quarter.) and go homeafter that. I didn't get to talk about the plan for the project we were going to ~~cram~~ do for tomorrow, and didn't hear of anything from my groupmates besides the time they called to get my locker code. Our materials for the project were there. I slept the whole day. The sprain started getting bruises. Now I'm too squemish to even look at it.

In the afternoon, I heard that classes the next day were suspended. To think I still had too much to do, I left books at the locker I needed to review, and lots of important stuff.

Now I'm here typing this post. I still can't walk, and I had a hard time going upsatirs to the room. The sprain looks worse, more swollen and bruised, but I'm not worried about that right now. I'm more worried about the requirements for next week and the periodical tests.

Of all times to get a sprained ankle.

Signing off.

*Edit (Dec. 1)- added title*

Hiatus on Hell Week

2006-11-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

This is the first time I've put this blog on hiatus. That's because I didn't really need to because my schedule still allowed time for updates. Now, well, my sked is maddening. There's too much work so I couldn't come up with things to post besides complaining about piled-up school work.

I'll be back on December 1 or 2 to update, when I don't have much to do except study for the periodical tests.

Wait for me until then.

I should have put up this kind of announcement a week ago.

Signing off.

2006-11-12T13:56:00.000+08:00

Blog post, again. I’m back, still sick and somewhat somber. I don’t feel all that cheerful, yet there’s nothing to be depressed about.

And I’m tired as well. There’s a lot to do at school right now, and I’m tired of staying up late at night, and even on weekends, doing homework, reviewing, etc. Then when I come to school, the work I had done the other night isn’t of any use.

I’m supposed to go to the doctor. I was supposed to for a long time. The colds and cough lasted for almost a month now, yet I haven’t had a check-up yet. My schedule doesn’t time for a check-up :P . Even weekends are filled up with tutorials and homework sessions. Anyway, who gives a darn about health and sanity? Academics seem more important to other people. The adults here can just make a honey and garlic concoction for cough at home (which is very hot) or go to the faith healer in the neighborhood *shudder*. -__-. I still feel sick.

Speaking of tutorials, I really didn’t want to go today. There wasn’t any new lesson to learn, and I found that the introduction to matrices, the next topic in school, was easy. We didn’t start with the introduction. I was taught augmented matrices, which takes a longer time to solve and the concept is harder. It is like solving systems of equations except it was designed for computers. I still don’t get why we have to know how to do that in that case. The problem I was given, a 3x3 square, took 20 minutes for me to solve and get correct. Even the tutor didn’t get the right answers. After that, I was taught multiplicative inverses of matrices. I was taught how to solve it. It’s just like solving augmented matrices. When I had to check if the answer was correct, I found out that I needed to use multiplication to check, which I still didn’t know then. That’s the only time the tutor taught me the definition of matrices, addition, multiplication, all those things which were simpler than the augmented matrices I learned at first. Learning backwards is hard.

Something random:

I just figured out that it’s easier to use a tablet on top of your lap or while holding it and with a laptop. It’s easier for me to use it like that. I haven’t been using it for a while because I don’t have the time and I can’t transfer my line art to the computer (the digicam I use to take a shot of it and upload is broken). Hopefully, I’ll be able to make something with it.

Signing off.

2006-11-08T19:08:00.000+08:00

Was the study partner survey in meant to outcast people? Was it to make the ones who didn't have any close friends who would think of them unwanted by the class?

And I thought it would be better at home. I told this to my dad, and he didn't let me finish explaining and started making generalities.

I'm in a bad mood.

I need to cool down. Signing off.

2006-11-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

Trip to Majayjay. Do I have to narrate the whole trip like people at school who read my blog expect me to? I don't feel like telling the whole story. It was fun, though.

I'm doing homework, just like whenever I'm online -_- and posting at the same time. It's my dad's birthday today, and I want to finish everything before dinner. I think it's impossible. I still abhor being loaded with requirements, but everything needs to be done. Oh, well.

Everything seems to be going well academically. I'm still whining about all the stuff to do, yet I'm able to get over it. The load is only piling up as homework and take-home quizzes and only 2 projects as of now. The rest of the projects will come a few weeks before the periodical tests.

Now, let’s talk about grades. I was afraid that my grades became lower, but most of them became higher. My overall average is higher; I got an average of 1.464 and I’m back in the Director’s List. Here are my grades, which I don’t know if I should be proud of them or if they’re not high enough to show off.

Biology- 1.50 (one step down)
Chemistry- 2.00 (one step up)
Physics- 1.25 (one step up)
Geometry- 1.75 (retained)
Algebra- 2.00 (retained)
Computer Science- 1.50 (one step down)
English- 1.50 (one step up)
Filipino- 1.25 (retained)
Social Science- 1.00 (one step up)
PEHM- 1.25 (one step up)
Values Education- 1.25 (retained)
Art- 1.25 (one step up)
Environmental Science- 1.50 (one step up)

No time to celebrate now. I've got to finish my homework.

Signing off.

2006-11-01T11:13:00.000+08:00

Happy All Saints' Day!

Didn't get to watch those Halloween specials being shown on TV. I would have watched the shows about ghosts and stuff if I wasn't so sleepy.

Who gives homework on such a glorious one-day semestral break? This is the only time we get to go visit the cemetery, stay at the cemetery, go around the cemetery until nightfall, stay over at the cemetery in the dark. Oh, yeah. And clean my room which reminds me of a cemetery.

I don't see why my sister should get her turn in using the computer for the rest of the day. She has her whole sem break to fool around with it and I've got to finish some homework.

In case you didn't notice o_0 I changed the layout.

Signing off.

2006-10-29T18:06:00.001+08:00

Fair. It was fun. Even though I don't have much money left anymore. The photo booth turned out okay. I was able to bike a few times, even though it was expensive. Being caught by the jail booth looked fun. Didn't get to watch most of the Battle of the Bands. Finally had my shift. Didn't get to shoot a single picture (I wish my digicam was working). Had fun at the fair concert.

But I was alone the whole time. *groan*

Oh, well. There are more not-so-lonely days at school to come. We don't have a semestral break.

Signing off.

2006-10-22T15:13:00.000+08:00

I'm here, posting again. Still sick right now, but I feel better than last time. A lot better. My temperature lowered from 38.5 deg Celsius last night to 37.5 right now. And I still don't know what caused it.

I was able to talk to my parents about the problem from last week. It still bothers me, although not as much. I want to see what developments may come tomorrow. What's the problem in the first place? Not telling, but I'm giving some hints. It's something to do with an event I walked into that I wouldn't seem to mind about at all. Not too many people know about that. That's all. I've almost gotten over it.

Now, I'm thinking of how to improve this blog. No matter how much I update, I'm still not satisfied with it. It's hard to explain.

Tag board is still down. Try using the comments.

Signing off.

I'm Sick

2006-10-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

I think I'm coming down with something. I tried measuring my temperature a while ago and read 38 degrees Celsius. I feel drowsy and my thighs still hurt from PE. Yeah, I'm not supposed to be logged in right now and typing this post, but something is just bothering me.

Something else makes me sick and it disturbs me more than a possible infection due to a pathogen. It has something to do with school, something that happened this week. I guess no one else knows that it affected me a lot.

Signing off.

Impatience Leading to Trouble

2006-10-18T21:05:00.001+08:00

Weird title. It's a track from the Wild Arms 3 OST. I was looking through the soundtrack when I found this title. It's a coincidence that it

About it: My sister keeps on interrupting me while I'm talking, so I started getting annoyed with her, then we argue. Then Dad scolds everyone, me for not taking command and all the things I find useless that he tells when he gets angry at his kids. Then everyone else at home starts acting like a jerk. I hate it.

And even with patience, it's inevitable that you still get into trouble. With all those things to do at school (Why do we still have so many second quarter requirements after the periodical tests, all of them due this week?), it seems like the trouble never ends.

Gah. And I don't want to start with my grades.

Signing off.

The world looks as if it's crashing down. That's depressing.

2006-10-14T19:18:00.000+08:00

At long last, I get to update this waste of webspace. Now, let's get on with the mental torture.

I'll start with academics. Dreaded academics. The periodical tests were harrowing. After thinking about how I did in all the tests, I think my grades might go down by one or two steps. Everything seems unstable. That's depressing.

I feel like I'm not being true to myself. And that I keep on bottling up what I really feel. I'm scared of seeming like a different person sometimes. Those might be why I feel misunderstood. That's depressing.

The tag board is not working. That's depressing.

Signing off. That's still depressing.

2006-10-01T15:48:00.000+08:00

This is one of those posts about a multitude of things, again.

Again with schoolwork. I got it all under control? Not yet. There's still stuff to worry about. Hope I could resolve those tonight so I'll have more time for other projects in the school days.

Wow. It's only now that I've heard of that release. The rearrangements of some tracks in the series OSTs sound exciting, based on the samples there. Too bad I can't really buy it. Gah, why does shipment have to be so much of a hassle? And while checking that out, I also tried to find some recent news about Wild Arms 5. Can't find many updates. For the meantime, I'm just looking around the WA Japanese site. Can't understand Japanese, though o_O.

And some other stuff.

I feel really sleepy, but I'm really used to staying up late working by now. Just a few more days and the agony will be over-- for a few months.

I want to change my layout now. Still not done coding the other one. I can't come up with a header. Hm, no header...

The info I researched about for the report on suicide is kind of disturbing.

And I haven't reviewed much for the periodical tests which are next week

Ending the randomness. Signing off.

2006-09-30T18:01:00.000+08:00

Guess what happened this September 29. Besides no classes, Milenyo, the brownouts, clean ups, other things that related to the typhoon and things that aren't related to the typhoon.

I turned 14. Whoa.

I don't feel all that different from a few days ago. It's just that 14 sounds... different. And maybe I've changed since I turned 13. I still have yet to figure out how I did.

Signing off.

2006-09-30T17:51:00.000+08:00

To make up for the days I could have posted but didn't get to because of the typhoon, power outage and homework, I'll be posting about what happened this week involving typhoon Milenyo.

I got home this Wednesday (late, as usual) to print out my EnviSci reports for the next day and to review a little for the coming long tests. At the door, I saw that the news was already on, showing something about a typhoon coming. Big deal. It's been raining hard for a while here, so it might not affect us that much. I just continued inside and saw my sisters slacking off, when they should have been doing homework. They said that typhoon Milenyo, a supertyphoon, was coming and that there were no classes. Yay. I forgot about doing all that work and went to sleep.

The next morning was pretty cold. Did the usual thing and got started on my homework. Alas, the electricity got cut off at around 11. Now all we did was watch as the coconut trees swayed to the very strong winds the whole day. We heard some trees falling on roofs, branches dropping on the chickens and the dog. Not much to do except to sleep, watch the chaos, sleep, then watch the chaos--in the dark.

There was electricity the next morning and most of the storm was over. What a way to start your birthday after all that trouble the day before. I went outside to see the glorious outdoors I missed for a day. Wow, the street was all green. Lots of trees fell on the street, all the banana plants were bent. I saw the cable that was disconnected during the storm and caused the blackout in our street. I heard from classmates that lots of them still don't have electricity. We also went out that day to see most of the city without electricity, lots of streetlights, posts and even billboards were blown down.That was probably the worst condition I've seen Metro Manila in after a typhoon.

News about Manila being in a state of calamity was really new to me. I thought that this location would never be as badly affected by a typhoon as the other "storm-prone". Such a metro we thought was very mighty was thrown into chaos after being passed by Milenyo for a few hours.

I think there was a lot to learn from this.

What goes up must come down.
Preparation for a storm is key.
Be thankful.
If you weren't so fortunate, be hopeful.
Try to finish your homework before something unexpected happens. No, seriously.
Gray doesn't know how to conclude posts.

Hope everyone is still intact, in one way or another.

Ranting about requirements. Again.

2006-09-23T16:14:00.000+08:00

Days started at 5 am, ended at past 12 midnight, mainly because of schoolwork. Hope it doesn't go on like that until the end of the 2nd quarter. Now I'm exhausted from that schedule. While I really feel like sleeping to make up for those hours in the night spent for doing things, I'm still bothered by the many requirements I have to finish.

If it's bothering me so much, why am I writing this post right now?

I seriously want to do something not related to school. With all this work, how can I? School isn't the only thing we are involved with; it isn't our whole life. It just, unfortunately, happens to take up ~~most~~ all of our time.

But still, the work has to be done.

Signing off.

2006-09-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

It's a Monday today. There isn't much left to do for tomorrow, but lots to do for the other long-term projects. Now I don't know whether to continue these or leave them for later because I'm sleepy or to do them now. Meh, might as well do them now. I don't care about sleep. But sleep is nice. But you don't even know that you slept and are still tired after you sleep. What's the use?

And what's the use of these posts about nothing?

This might be used to record my mental activity these days. I don't know if this can even be called activity. Also, my mind is more focused on school.

Oh, yeah. The periodical exams are less than a month away.

I need to post something other than about requirements to keep what is left of my sanity. Something about layout design (designer's block), drawing (no time for that), video games (no time for that, either), or a long post about myself (absolutely no time for that).

Sleepy. Signing off.

The Return

2006-09-17T12:04:00.000+08:00

The return of the piled-up requirements. How fun.And I haven't finished at least one of them yet.

Now, let's get to know all of them.

Geometry- Kusudama, the ball origami. I still haven't figured out how to fold them.
Envi Sci- Compile 10 reports about pollution. Found 5 >_<.
Chemistry- Portfolio. What the?
Values Ed- Report on suicide. I can actually motivate myself to do this one. I've been thinking about this topic for a while (not that I am considering it.), read about it and talked about it with my parents and counselors before. I even volunteered to be the leader of the group.
Art- Part 1. Research. Overwhelming.
Part 2. Gallery visit. As if I have the time to go to Megamall, with all these stuff to do.
Part 3. Avant garde. Got the idea. Don't know what kind of project to do.
and beyond. Some things that I might have forgotten to place here. Or new projects that might be given this week. >_<

This morning, I was feeling kind of sick. Woke up, then ate, then slept for another 3 hours. Wasn't able to do any progress with these for that reason.

Anyway, got to get back to work.

Signing off.

Once Again, Another Uninspired and Disorganized Post

2006-09-10T09:16:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I feel obliged to post here because the Humanities Week is over and everyone is talking about it in their blogs. I have only a few things to say about it. Good job, everyone. And good riddance. It's over.

Woke up at 8 yesterday and still felt sleepy. We went to do errands at a grocery which I haven't been to for more than a year. I almost got lost looking for the sugar. Couldn't find the tea.

I didn't get to rest yesterday afternoon. I spent the whole time surfing the internet and planning another layout (I'm starting to grow out of this one).

And now I feel like there's a secret being kept from me. I got a part of a given statement on it, did some investigation but can't put everything together and get the truth.

Sloth is taking over right now. I'm not in the mood to do stuff right now, even though there's lots to do.

I'm signing off.

2006-09-05T20:17:00.000+08:00

Life? Well, it's okay right now.

Except for the successive deadlines and presentations this week.

It's all right.

Not completely. I'm exhausted from all this endless thinking about things (most are not related to school). My bedtimes become later by the day. Depression seems like it's coming out of nowhere. I miss something.... Um, well.

Blogging. I just can't seem to blog as "freely" as I used to. Sorry if this post was disappointing.

Will end this misery-inducing post by signing off.

Asparagus is the root, er, vegetable of all frustration

2006-08-26T20:54:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I should appreciate asparagus. It's something that I can eat, but would rather not eat. So what if a few stalks of it on a steak could raise its price by a few hundred pesos? Value isn't only determined by price. It won't make me like it more.

Why am I so worked out about that darn asparagus?

2006-08-26T09:59:00.000+08:00

For the first time in a while, the week has ended and I'm not all that exhausted now. I guess it's because we haven't had any major requirements. The depression has sort of lessened because there were some delightful things that happened. I'm still not sure exactly what those were, but they happened. I also finished the essay I was stuck with, even though I'm not all that satisfied with it.

I still don't believe that it is already the end of the week. The time when you do less work, lay back and sleep. Not this one. I'm still thinking of things and the endless chain of thought hasn't stopped yet. There are different things in my mind, but they, weirdly, are connected to each other. The thing about something I thought was true, then I found out was false, but then heard something related that I'm not sure is true. That, then how it affects my dealings with things related to that concern. Then it goes on. I hope it ends soon. Can't sleep well.

Oh, yeah. And have a good weekend. :)

Signing off.

2006-08-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

Hey. It's been a while since I last posted. I've been too busy with the outside world to post. Sorry about that.

Wait, I always use that phrase when I apologize here. Just noticed.

I'm kind of drained right now. I keep on thinking about these nagging concerns at school, both academic (grades, a homework I missed, a quiz I think I failed in, etc.) and non-academic (heheh, can't think of too many examples at the moment so... etc.). And there are some things that I keep on thinking of and can't figure out, like the kind of depression I've been having for a while. Everything just seems to pile up on you. As soon as I've finished my homework, I'm going to bed immediately. They say sleep might calm down stress. But it never really does.

Oh, yeah. I'll try to figure out the slope of the stairs at school to see why I fell from it today. I'm curious about it, for some strange reason.

There is more I want to type about, but my thoughts are, well, messed up tonight.

Signing off.

Post Exam Post

2006-08-12T13:46:00.000+08:00

I still feel too tired to post, but at least I got some sleep. The exams are done and it's time to slack off again. Well, not totally. But at least we're through with first quarter and starting off slow again.

I'm not really looking forward to seeing the results of the tests, though. I don't feel like I did my best.

The batch party last night wasn't that bad. Some parts of it were fun. I was just worried about our class presentation because I missed the practice while taking the Bio post quarter test and some "technical difficulties" with my clothes. Not much dancing after the main program. I would have danced if people I knew danced with me. You know that feeling of security while doing something supposedly embarrassing. It still was a great night. The only bad thing was that a cup of cola spilled on the floor. Almost all of my stuff survived the deluge, but my sketchbook ended up all soggy. Meh.

Now, I'm just fooling around with the computer. Photoshop. Layout. I'm out of ideas.

Will post next time.

Signing off.

2006-08-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

Whoever is reading this right now is probably supposed to be studying/doing some sort of work but is stalling in the Internet, just like me. Oh, well. Go on reading.

I'm sleepy.

Hell week is over. Haven't gotten much rest from that yet. It's kind of okay, though. All the requirements have been passed. Now all that's left are the CS long test and periodical tests. Now hell week isn't the only week that is hell.
I hope I pass (and that everyone else will).

I'm still sleepy.

I'm stuck here at home reviewing while my sisters and brother are at the mall, the cool, air conditioned mall. I'm a bit envious.

And I'm still sleepy.

I'll be back when I feel better (when the perio are over or as soon as I take a nap).

Signing off. I have get back to reviewing.

Influenza, Requirements, Three Stooges Syndrome and The Usual Titles that Go Like This

2006-07-29T19:14:00.000+08:00

I didn't post last week because I was feeling sick. I didn't post the week before that because I had a flu. Sorry, guys. I guess I just feel too sick and sleepy to go to the computer and post regularly.

More than 12 requirements (long tests, projects) are due next week. If I didn't notice that kind of schedule we're given on the last week of the quarter, then... I don't really know what to do besides being shocked. And the last week of the quarter means that the exams are near. Then what does the periodical exams being near mean?

I also went to the seminar on Speech Choirs. The project sounds hard, but the seminar was fun and I learned lots from it. Maybe a lot on how to present the piece, but I liked the stuff on how to lead the presentation. The tips help because of some problems I'm having with "group dynamics" for a project now.

And there's a new problem that bothers me. Somehow, feelings about things are piling up that I don't know which one I'm affected by more. Just like the Three Stooges Syndrome from The Simpsons. Lots of stuff tick me off, stress me out, mortify me or the feelings that just make everything all jumbled up. But I don't know how to be relieved of them.

I seriously want to do stuff in the computer now, like code layouts or draw something, or at least do something that isn't school-related, but the load doesn't allow (Lots of ~~cramming~~ work to do. Yay.).

Signing off.

Non-School Related Post

2006-07-14T19:26:00.000+08:00

I feel the long weekend slipping through my hands already. For the first 2.5 days of it, I played the Magna Carta game that I quit and dug out again. I can't find any new RPGs to play. For the rest of it, I worked on this layout and went out somewhere.

It's been a while since I've been designing layouts. I started this one when some inspiration from other people's sites (probably caused by envy of their cool layouts) hit me like typhoon Florita just recently. This one looks like it was thought of for a week, considering my tendency to procrastinate with these things. It only took me 30 minutes to make the graphics and an hour to fix everything else. Just like the other layouts, it looks weird. Weird and bright.

My sister says it doesn't fit me and the way I post. The blue and the gray were part of the original plan, since my blog is kind of calm and discreet. I just added orange because I was forced to look at color wheels recently for a project. It contrasts with the other colors, making it look less dull. I just don't know if it reflects my personality. What kind of person am I, if I'm even one?

I also "rediscovered" some old scraps of paper from before, and I found a story that I thought of, supposedly for the English Sci-Fi play last year. It was a different one from the other story I suggested. It's about people in a new settlement in a far-off planet after the Earth was destroyed by... I don't know. I didn't continue it because I couldn't think of some details in the plot. After that, I created a soundtrack for it in case that was the story we were going to present. Mostly Guilty Gear themes and some others. Also tried sketching how the characters look like, the locations, etc. I feel a little bad that I didn't go on working on it.

Currently absorbed with:

Homework. Oh, man.

Trying to fix the header part of the layout.

Magna Carta: Tears of Blood

Trying another layout

Completing the story about people in a new settlement in a far-off planet after the Earth was destroyed by... I don't know. I should give it a title.

Signing off.

2006-07-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

I just noticed that this is my 101th post in this blog. Ah, well.

The weekend is here!

And it's really relieving. A break from the hectic and insanity-inducing schedule at school. Even the homework for next week is less than what we usually have. I'm even done with most of them. All that's left is to study for the long tests for the week.

I'm kinda stuck here. Here's a site that was suggested in School Arts (forgot what issue) for some inspiration for our Art project. We were assigned to do something like Monet's Water Lilies. I don't really have ideas yet.

We're going to Tagaytay tomorrow. Um, yeah. I forgot how it looks like since it's been a while I've gone there. The last time was on a Grade 4 field trip, but we only visited a retreat house.

I want to make some more new pages for some sites, play video games, draw stuff and take pictures but my sked doesn't seem to allow.

I want new batteries for my digicam. I haven't been going out recently, heheh.

I crave for... lasagna.

That was random. Will post next time.

Signing off.

2006-07-02T16:40:00.000+08:00

Increasing workload. And it's just the 3rd week. Now that is an example of exponential growth.

Now I know that the upperclassmen and the teachers weren't exaggerating when they said that sophomore year is really busy. Performance-wise, well, I'm not sure. Lots of homework every night, so my average bedtime is around eleven pm. Not much time to enjoy the weekend because were busy doing projects and studying for long tests. Right now, I'm typing a few reports due this week. I've still got to finish my submission for the Art Club.

The project involving this made my weekend somewhat miserable, even though it was easy to find interviewees. I also liked the painting *might be stoned by other classmates*, but I fear that no one will be able to really describe it.

Despite all that, I'm enjoying school. I like (almost) all of my classes. The teachers are understanding when it comes to lessons. My classmates and most batchmates are easy to get along with. I hope there would still be those stuff that'll keep me optimistic about school.

Oh, come on. I'm dying here. I hope I could have a good dinner and sleep enough tonight.

School Post, Again

2006-06-24T09:10:00.000+08:00

I'm back from school again.

It was fun this week. Even though we've got lots (lots and lots and LOTS) of requirements piled up, the classes are still interesting and worth attending. Somehow, achievements now feel more rewarding that last year. I'm not really able to explain why.

Classmates are still bearable, I think ^^;.

Now I prefer being dismissed late. The time between dismissal and the time the carpool leaves is kind of boring, since I have nothing to do then but read and do some homework. I don't like having to be responsible in telling everyone the service's activity. It pisses me off >:P.

And this morning, I woke up at 5. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I ended up finishing my Algebra homework. Meep.

I hope I can do something that isn't school-related this weekend.

First Week Flop

2006-06-18T10:00:00.000+08:00

Back from school. I was actually supposed to post this last Friday, but I fell asleep before I got a chance to log in. It isn't as thrilling as when you post right after things happen to you, but I'll just go on. After this I'll log out to rewrite my Algebra homework. Meep. >_<

Sophomore year. It is hard, even on the first week. Seems that I can't chill out as much as I did last year. Academics has become a lot more challenging. Lots of classes, homework and activities. Right now, I think it just needs some getting used to.

But I can't get used to the amount of work to do. It's only the first week and we have so much to do at school and at home already.

Right now, I'm alright with Champaca. Don't see any problems with other classmates there, and I hope it'll stay that way.

I feel kind of foolish after this week. All the changes seem so awkward. Or am I the only one whose changed? Now that I really got used to school, I want to find opportunities for "improvement" by being a little more outgoing and trying more activities. But none of those efforts seem welcomed. It feels like the start of last year. I don't know if anyone understands this but let's leave that topic as is.

And some stuff about home... ah well. Nothing right now.

Signing out.

2006-06-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

Just 1 more day to go. What can I accomplish on that day before I go back to school?

Pack my things, put some ongoing non-academic projects on hold, get some sleep. That's a lot to do. Just an assessment.

After school starts, I'll try to update at least twice a month. I think I can do that, because I instantly go online when everything school-related is done like last year. Unless sophomore year is as nerve-wracking and extremely fast-paced as people say. I just hope they'll make more sense since there's something to write about. Layout changes will take longer, though.

Something makes me feel like this won't be my last post before classes start. I might come back tomorrow.

Signing off.

Am I Ready for School?

2006-06-10T11:54:00.000+08:00

Going back to school. It means some good things and bad things. My brain will go back to its usual active state.

I'll have some things to motivate me to work: my grades (position in DL status), stipends, my pride. Sorry if that sounded cynical and boastful, but those are really the things that drive me to do well in school.

Then the bad stuff.

Workload. 39 hours at school every week isn't exactly fun. 13 subjects that we'll be getting homework from at least weekly. I just have to do is mow down all of this pests then I'm home free. How I'll do it is still being thought of.

I'll be mostly alone and unnoticed in a sea of people again. But does it really matter if I'm popular or know lots of people? I'm already content with being in good terms with everybody.

There are stuff that I really hate about going to school. There are those moments, some figures and negative far-off philosophical thoughts about ordinary things that'll pop out of my head, the system of doing stuff is disorganized, and the people who have "ways" get their way easily. I'm sure that my schoolmates sort of know what I mean. What I hate more is b****ing or being all depressed about these things that I have no control of. It's not worth spending so much energy on. I just plan to get through it all. Then take out the trash.

That was a messy paragraph. Forgive me.

It just that I read this "angsty" post complaining about school that kind of irritates me, even though I can relate to it. I still want to believe that there are some parts of school, especially the education I get from it, wherein all the motives are pure and good.

Back to original discreet mood. Ah, never mind. I don't have anything else to say.

Have fun at school, everyone (um, for the good things it has).

Signing off.

2006-06-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

Happy 6/6/06, everyone!

Naw, I don't believe something unfortunate will happen today. Just that it's neat how the numbers match up.

The first thing you might have noticed when you entered is the layout change. I finally placed it up when I found out that Walagata switched off all free accounts, including mine. So I found another image host for the header pic. It took me a while to clear up the coding, add new content on the sidebar. I'm not too satisfied with the header, but I think it overall it looks okay.

A new discovery: I just found the smudge tool in Photoshop. Perfect for blending colors. Kind of late because I could have used that tool for a few drawings I finished. Wah.

And that's about it for now.

Signing off.

2006-06-05T09:46:00.000+08:00

Last week of summer vacation. I'm alone here at home because my sisters are at school already. My classes still start on June 13.

I'm doing all of the stuff that I can before school starts. I wish I could go out some more, but I don't have enough money for that. I'm not willing to finish my drawings with all these people at home peeking while I do it. I'm stuck reading my textbooks here at home. Kind of depressing.

I'm looking forward to school so that I'll have something to do and get stipends while I'm at it.

Need sleep. I watched the reruns of this week's Fullmetal Alchemist episodes last night on Animax. Watched the first 4 episodes starting at 6 o' clock. I had a hard time sleeping so I caught the last episode at 1 am. Then it took me a few more hours to go to sleep. I woke up at 8. My head hurts.

It's a short post. Not in a blogging mood now.

Signing off.

2006-06-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

Whoa. It's already June 1st here. I never thought that summer vacation would fly quick. It's probably because of swimming classes, SEP, days when I sleep the whole day. There were also days where time slows down, like when I feel like I surfed the whole Internet.

I didn't go out as much as I wanted to. There's tons to do at the mall like looking for video games, playing at the arcade, eating out and checking out the whole building, but it's crowded with people avoiding the heat. I'd rather go around the metro than to a beach, but no one at home was willing to take me out (I'm still not allowed to go out by myself.).

And there were also lots of things that I really wanted to do this summer but wasn't able to. I wanted to try out PHP, but I was banned from staying on the computer too long. Wasn't able to code layouts for this site and a few others also because of that. As a root of constant unmotivation throughout the vacation I didn't draw much anime pics. They still have the same ~~slightly crappy~~ style I had months ago. Yay for no practice! The most pathetic of all: I have yet to finish cleaning my room. Sheesh.

I hoped to have a more well-spent summer vacation, but most of it wasn't realized. At least I was able to rest up a lot and prepare for school. And about school, I'm still not all that excited to go, but I'm ready.

Signing off.

2006-05-30T09:45:00.000+08:00

Blogger's block, blogger's block. Can't find something to blog about. That kind of explains my long absences.

Registration took a long time yesterday. It was disorganized, as usual, but I expected worse. I'm in Champaca this year. It doesn't bother me in any way right now, actually. Now I have one more thing to do at home: try to figure out all the new textbooks.

I've also started drawing again. Yay. The laziness is wearing off and the motivation is coming back. The thing is, my drawing style has yet to improve. Oh, man.

Blogger's block.

Signing off.

2006-05-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

It's hard to be depressed without knowing what you're even depressed about. Lacking inspiration, being overwhelmed by things, expectations for myself that are too high, or maybe just laziness? This only happens on vacations. I don't know why.

Back to drifting through the last days of summer, doodling on the computer and taking 5-hour naps everyday. What a lousy post. I was actually here to put this blog on hiatus because I can't post "well". Oh, well.

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.

You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.

Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.

Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.

And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.

You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.

Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.

Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.

Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.

You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Gray!

Worldwide, Gray is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects.
The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes Gray.
Gray is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes!
Every day in the UK, four people die putting Gray on.
About 100 people choke to death on Gray each year.
Gray can use only about ten percent of her brain!
If the annual Australian Gray crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times!
Europe is the only continent that lacks Gray.
Only one person in two billion will live to be Gray.
Gray can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period.

This one was fun to fool around with.

Signing off.

2006-05-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

Update... finally. I just feel too unmotivated to post today.

I'm exhausted. SEP just ended today, meaning no more Math homework, waking up early and commuting far distances. We ate out after the class. Then it took us 20 minutes to find an FX to our place. I hated the dust, muck and heat while waiting. When I got home, I hit the sack immediately. A few hours later, I was woken up by my cousin for a phone call. With all the people awake, I had to be the one to answer it when it was my mom just checking on us. She should have just called one of my sisters, who were both awake or something. After that, I fell asleep again. 30 minutes later, my sister woke me up beca.... PSSSH, never mind! To summarize it, I was tired today and I still am.

The header pic isn't showing. I tried logging into Walagata a few times, but it says that my user ID doesn't exist. I don't know what happened.

Neo Wings was updated yesterday. Care to check it out? Check the links on the sidebar. I feel too lousy to even hyperlink it here.

10 minutes later: This is the 5th time I was interupped while typing this post. Can it get any worse?

I'm going to bed before that happens.

"Time for dinner!", I hear from downstairs. Good thing I'm done with this post or else I'll... But I'm not connected and it will take time to connect and publish this, so I will be called about 80 more times.

I can't take it anymore. I'll just sign out before I get called again and jump out of the window. I'll log into the Internet tomorrow in a good mood, hopefully.

Signing off.

2006-05-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a week since I've last posted. Sorry about that. Our computer was fluking again. We brought the CPU to a repair shop to get fixed. The problem: accumulated dirt inside it. This isn't the first time this happened.

Then we also had power failures for the rest of the week. Today, the power was cut from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening. There was nothing to do for the rest of the day, but I did get to accomplish a lot of things that I keep putting off like doing SEP homework and cleaning my room.

I'm now working on a Mother's Day gift for Mom. Since I grew out of crafts and greeting cards, I'm making her a Flash presentation. I'll try it for this year and hope that she will like it.

It's cold. Yay!

Um, yeah. I like cold and windy weather.

Well, signing off.

May Means Mid-Vacation...

2006-05-07T18:03:00.000+08:00

...And mid-vacation means I've already done a lot on my break and I only have a while till we're back to racking my brains at school. Both exciting and depressing.

I still haven't finished my homework for Geometry classes on Tuesday. Better get working on it. After the class, I'm going with my family for some school shopping. Oh man, the more I can't wait for exams and homework a plenty.

Swimming classes. Can't master the arm pull. It's better than the swimming classes at school when I didn't understand it at all. It ends on Friday. :(

I posted mainly because I haven't updated for 5 days. Need inspiration.

Signing off.

More Stuff To Do?

2006-05-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

Math classes were harsher today. Showing proof.

Swimming classes start tomorrow. Great, my brain hurts and now everywhere else will start aching, too. I need to learn how to, though, because I didn't during swimming at school.

Tablet. Tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet, tablet. Still trying to master it. I've already learned how to handle it. I also started drawing stuff using it.

Neo Wings revamp: still working on it. The fix was on hold since December 2005. It's May 2006... I neglected it for that long. Next attraction will be Perfect Imperfection Version 4.

Oh, yeah. I got a haircut yesterday. It was a quick decision, but I like it and won't be changing it for a while. Now my hair is drastically different from last school year. Hope I would still be recognized.

It's been a long time since I've taken one of these things.

Your Power Level is: 70%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within.

Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

Naw, I don't believe it.

Signing off.

Tablet

2006-04-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

Last night, we met our uncle and aunt in the airport. They came to visit their families in the province. It's been a year since I last saw them. I think we'll get to see them on mid-May on the town fiesta in their place.

They brought me a graphics tablet I impatiently (and sleeplessly) waited 2 months for. I can't find one easily here, and I don't have the money to buy one. I couldn't thank them enough for it. :D

I already started trying it out this morning. It feels a bit awkward using the tablet at first. Can't get used to moving it across the screen and all that. It's not as easy as it looks.

Uh, well. Signing off.

Survey Says...

2006-04-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the double post yesterday. There was just something wrong with the connection then I made it reload.

I don't have anything to post today except a survey I took a while ago.

*45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone*
whats your name spelt backwards?:	yarg. No real names.
What did you do last night?:	Played Insaniquarium
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	Re:START- Yakitate!! Japan ED#4
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	I might...
Last time you swam in a pool?:	April 8 this year
What are you wearing?:	Ratty house clothes
How many cars have you owned?:	I wish I owned one.
Type of music you dislike most?:	Blissful love songs and novelty songs
Are you registered to vote?:	Not yet
Do you have cable?:	Yes
What kind of computer do you use?:	A very slow and spyware-infested one
Ever made a prank phone call?:	No and never will
You like anyone right now?:	Nope
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	Both if possible
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	U.S.
What's your favorite comic strip?:	Pugad Baboy!
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	When I sing it, yes. When I write it, no.
Shower, morning or night?:	Both times
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	Fearless
Favorite pizza toppings?:	Veggies and cheese
Chips or popcorn?:	Chips
What cell phone provider do you have?:	Globe, though I used to have Smart 2 years ago.
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	Naw
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	I was never born to do those stuff
Orange Juice or apple?:	Orange juice
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	My dad
favorite chocolate bar?:	Does Choc-Nut count?
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	My parents and for 13 years
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	We never grew tomatoes.
Have you ever won a trophy?:	I wish I did but my cheapskate school in elementary never gave any.
Favorite arcade game?:	Mostly fighting games. I like Guilty Gear most. If only I remembered how to play it.
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	No
Sprite or 7-UP?:	7-Up
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	Ever since nursery.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	I don't go to Walgreens.
Ever thrown up in public?:	No. Good thing.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	For now, gimme the money.
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	Not love, but infatuation at first sight.
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	Spongebob
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	Quite long
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	Don't have one.
Where would you like to go right now?:	To the fridge and somehow fit myself into the freezer.
Whats the name of your pet?:	Our dogs ran away...
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	Nautica with nothing but air inside it.
What do you think about most?:	About what I don't and/or can't have.
Take this survey \| Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

I guess that's all for today.

Signing off.

Brain and Back Breakdown

2006-04-24T19:28:00.000+08:00

Back to "school" tomorrow. I'm ready for another 4 hours of the Math SEP. I got the homework ready today, but I don't understand exactly the instructions. I just hope my brain won't be malfunctioning like it has been doing these days.

I haven't been getting much sleep. When I lie on my left side like I usually do, my left shoulder starts aching. I turn to the other side, then my right side hurts. I try sleeping on my stomach and it feels alright, only I can't breathe well because of a 3-week cold. Then repeat.

Man, I wish I remembered how to draw. I can't at the moment.

An eventful week it is.

Signing off.

In Between Black and White

2006-04-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

Behold! After 7 months, I finally changed the blog layout. It still looks like the Minima template I used before, but I kept it's clean and readable look in the layout. The picture of the sky was edited; it's not a real gray sky. It is mostly gray, just like its creator. The whole thing took 30 minutes, since the style was patterned from PIWTHI. That's pretty much all I have to say about it.

Rushed and badly-written long post below (Our dial-up is merciless.):

But what does gray mean? And why did I choose that name when I first started here? Let's start with the typical dictionary entry in these kinds of essays.

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: gray
Pronunciation: 'grA
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English gr[AE]g; akin to Old High German grIs, grA gray
1 a : of the color gray b : tending toward gray(blue-gray eyes) c : dull in color
2 : having the hair gray : HOARY
3 : clothed in gray
4 a : lacking cheer or brightness in mood, outlook, style, or flavor; also : DISMAL, GLOOMY b (a gray day) : prosaically ordinary : DULL, UNINTERESTING
5 : having an intermediate and often vaguely defined position, condition, or character (an ethically gray area)
- gray·ly adverb
- gray·ness noun

That first part shows the meanings of "gray". But which did I have in mind when I chose my online nickname. The real answer: none. At those times, I would just type any name I could think of. If the name was taken, I would just come up with some other word I could call myself.

Now, 14 months after I came up with this random moniker I go around as, I've thought some reasons I picked this "subconsciously". It could have been a coincidence that some meanings in the dictionary matched up with my personality.

Definition 2: Yeah, my hair is a bit gray, not because of age.

Definition 4: Sort of. I used to be like that all the time when I was in elementary. Not so much nowadays, because I'm happier at school, got some counseling (and sometimes scolding) from adults, and I learned how to enjoy things more. It's still part of who I am, though it only shows when I'm really down on myself,

Definition 5: In the end, I think this meaning matches with what I am. In everyday decisions, I could easily pick one from another. But when it comes to character and identity issues, I could never be completely one side without showing it's opposite on another situation. I could never completely describe what I'm like. I can't be either white or black, but a part of each. There are times that I'm like a lighter gray in a grayscale slider, and other times having a darker gray color. Colors on this slider between #FFFFFF and #000000 (hex numbers for white and black) are all gray.

For now, I'm satisfied with this meaning of "gray" and will continue to use it as my name here. As for Perfect Imperfection, it will change faces as I find more ways I could define myself as besides between black and white.

End of rushed essay.

P.S. *****Spoiler (sort of) for Wild ARMs4*****
It's got something to do with this post. Check the English WA4 site and look at Arnaud's profile at Characters. It was never mentioned in the game, as far as I know. It surprised me, too.

Backaches, Math, Headaches and more Backaches

2006-04-19T08:30:00.000+08:00

It's midweek again. Only one more Math session til the week ends. I enroled there to be able to understand second year Math more, but it just made me more confused. No use complaining because I have yet to finish the homework for tomorrow.

Life is a bit more painful physically. My cold has gotten worse. Also, maybe because of not sitting correctly in the Math program, the left side of my body ached the whole day.

Wait for a more positive post when I feel in the mood to post one. There are just some days when I like to dump my troubles on this ~~forsaken~~ amount of webspace.

Easter Post

2006-04-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

John 3:16

Yes. Get up and go look at it in the Bible. Sometimes, we forget that.

Happy Easter. God bless you. :)

(It's also partly because I can't think of anything worth posting on this special day.)

2006-04-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

Sorry for suddenly disappearing. I really didn't have time to post this week.

This is the start of the emotional part of the post. Don't read unless you want to know how "weak" I really am.

Well, I've been going to churches past few days. Gone to the ones in town and to Our Lady of Aranzazu today. It came up only recently, but something weird happens when I'm there. I suddenly think of things and start crying during mass and when we were praying. Maybe I just haven't been in touch with the Lord and with my thoughts these past months.

End.

Read the more positive part from here.

Is it possible to get a cold on a season like this? I did. I can't sleep well and get groggy a lot.

I just finished playing Wild Arms 4 this Monday. I've got to say, I really enjoyed the game even though it was short (It took me 30 hours or 1 week to finish the story part of the game.). I came to like the story a little more, though it was felt rushed near the end. Now, I'm unlocking the extras like Ex Keys, optional bosses, Extra Challenges, etc.. Next game to play: Probably WA: Alter Code F (can't find it) or Kingdom Hearts II, or I'll wait for Atelier Iris II. If I can't go out to buy games, I'll finish the games I stopped playing before school started or play my sister's Shadow Hearts III game, heh.

I'm really going to the Math classes on the 18th. Have to do something involved with academics to prevent my brain from rotting.

A new layout will come... probably. It's been 7 months since I did and I just edited the text and added banners in the first change. I'm not fond of blogskins that almost everyone at school uses, so I'll make my own and put a little more effort on it.
So far I've thought of:

An abstract one. I could play around with Photoshop to make one.

A video game-themed one by the new Wild Arms 4 addict. Don't get surprised if I actually do it.

Something drawn by me. I'm uninspired, though, so I might use old art >_<.

I won't be able to do it tomorrow. I will sort of "ban" myself from the computer on Good Friday and Black Saturday. I might come back on Easter afternoon or on Monday.

Signing off.

2006-04-07T09:49:00.000+08:00

I'm under time pressure now. My sister is going to chat with someone soon, so I'll be typing really short stuff.

Report cards were out this Wednesday. I guess my results were okay. A few subjects went down, but I'm still in the DL. Guess I'll type some more about it if I can.

Organizing a children's party is harder than I thought. The third in our family is having her 7th birthday soon and I'm hosting the games. It's hard to make up games, considering their age and capacity. I was planning some requiring more of wit and flexibility, but I guess not many of the kids will appreciate it.

Now that I'm on vacation, I have all the time to play video games unlike on school weekends. I finally got my hands on Wild Arms 4 and I can't stop playing. I don't enjoy the plot much, but the gameplay is highly addictive.

Time's up. Signing off.